Parenting Class     Mon 5/21         6:00-10:00 pm          10031 Pines Blvd

Parenting Class   Wed 5/30         6:00-10:00 pm          7800 Sheridan Street

Sandcastles          Sat 5/12            9:30 am - 1:00 pm    10031 Pines Blvd

Sandcastles        Sat 5/26              9:30 am  – 1:00 pm  10031 Pines Blvd

Register online at www.divorceclass.info or call (954) 438 5661 for information.

Program                  Date                                  Time                         Location

Parenting Class        Monday 5/21             6:00-10:00 pm           10031 Pines Blvd

Parenting Class        Wednesday 5/30      6:00-10:00 pm          7800 Sheridan Street

Sandcastles                Saturday 5/12           9:30 am  - 1:00 pm   10031 Pines Blvd

Sandcastles                Saturday 5/26            9:30 am  – 1:00 pm   10031 Pines Blvd

Register online at www.divorceclass.info or call (954) 438 5661 for information.

I prefer not to single out particular techniques as being ineffective when disciplining children, because, quite frankly, I beleive this would just be a waste of time. I am prepared to say however, that there seems to be some truth that no one technique is effectitates for all children, nor are they all going to be embraced by parents of all backgrounds. Furthermore, some disciplinary techniques that might be unpopular in one culture could be widely used in others and they might be believed to be quite effective as well. Take spanking for example; many people refuse to talk about its use or its effectiveness, primarily because some individuals in the United States perceive this practice as predominantly a Black issue, although it is absolutely not the case. Many Black parents, as do parents in other families, spank their children. Still, many Blacks express the view that many Whites see the practice as child abuse, insinuating that only Blacks use this method and they are more abusive to their children. Some Black people regard views that some Whites hold against spanking as discriminatory. Some even express the feeling that it might be because the practice reminds Whites of the ugly, racist history with which beatings are associated, because Blacks were abused by Whites used spankings, or rather, beatings during slavery. Against this background, there are those Blacks, who feel very strongly that they love their children just as much as Whites love theirs and that it might be guilty feelings that might be preventing Whites from refusing to condone its continued use as a form of punishment.

It should be noted, however, that there is a big difference, and frankly no comparrison between the cruel beatings that slaves received and the spankings that many parents today, Black or White, give their children. Some Black people even go further. They express the view that concerns some White people might have regarding discoloration of the skin (turning black and blue when injured) might not be as much of a concern among some Black people, particularly those who might be of a darker hue. Indeed, it is no secret that many Black parents spank their children, when they think it is necessary and they continue to vouch for its effectiveness as a form of punishment. It is also no secret that there are difficulties involved in detecting some types of injury to very dark skin. Many Black people now contend that it is very ironic that a practice that was in such common use by Whites against Blacks is now viewed by so many as abusive, when that was far from the case, when they were the ones who were using it to subdue Black people.

My views on this matter are very simple. Regardless of its presumed effectiveness, using physical means to punish a child, any child, is wrong. It is violent, ineffective, shameful and barbaric. Furthermore, many children are severley harmed, even killed at the hands at angry parents, who might have just wanted to “teach” their child a lesson because of something they did or didn’t do. Moreover, because parents usually resort to the use of spanking or other violent means when they are angry, the likelihood of unintentional harm being inflicted on children is greater when physical means are employed.

Additionally, discipline is really about guiding and teaching children valuable lessons from their actions. And children do get a lesson from a beating or spanking. What might that lesson be? “It is appropriate to settle differences with others using violence, even if they are smaller, younger and more vulnerable. Depending on time, place action, etc; a gentle slap on the hand can send a very powerful message to a child in some cases. However, the consistent usage of physical means can be shameful and demeaning, it instills fear instead of love, and it often sends the wrong message. There are numerous effective means that can be employed to get good parenting ideas and lessons across to children. Know your child’s temperament, be reasonable and ask yourself what you would like the child to learn and remember from his/her actions or behaviosr. Mothers and fathers must also be on the same page where discipline is concerned. Otherwise, it is just confusing to children and it just does not work. Consult with professionals if you are in doubt regarding what techniques might be effective or even appropriate in some situations, in the area where you reside and with children in a particular age group. It’s your job as parents to guide/discipline your children. Do so lovingly. Keep your children safe and keep yourself out of trouble.

What are your thoughts? Please leave a comment.

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